Ramblings of a delusional dumbass

Dear esteemed editor of #tv69, I am very disappointed in your lack of coverage about the latest development in politico-cine scenario in the south of the Vindhyas. It was an extremely shameful moment for me when my wife, who watches nothing but serials in the afternoons and cinema news in the evening, told me about Rajinikanth joining the politics. You see, I am not a big fan of Rajinikanth. His eccentricity doesn’t sit well with me. Especially since my wife made me quit cigarettes 30 years ago, but still watches Rajinikanth light up his cigarettes in “style” with her mouth wide open. I like Kamal Hassan. Nice fellow, very handsome and clean shaven like me. But even he is also planning to join politics it seems. Very disheartening. On further research with the assistance of Google, I came to know that even Pawan Kalyan, and Upendra are also entering politics! These days all actors seem to want to do everything but acting. It reminded me of my grand uncle, one Mr. Swaminatha...

(A truncated and self edited version can be found here Dear Editor, It’s  been just three days into the week, and what a week it has been already! Nestled between the explosive news pieces of banning condom ads, Ockhi’s horrific aftermath and Rohit’s 200*, was the illustrious affair of the Virat- Anushka wedding (the need to portmanteau couple’s names to make a weird sounding word seems absolutely stupid, but that’s a piece for another day). And what a grand event it was! I’m sure you would have seen the pictures of their wedding online. However, this grandeur hasn’t been awarded the attention it deserves, in my humblest of opinion. Dear editor, I don’t have to tell you how utterly impossible it is that a private ceremony of such grandeur to escape the scrutinizing eye of a seasoned journalist. Like a hungry mongrel scouring the dustbins for scraps of rotten food, any news channel worth its salt races ahead to squeeze every last bit of information from whatever blurry image/ ...

So you don’t think that’s subversive? No. Absolutely not. If you don’t think that’s subversive, then I’m sorry to say this, but you don’t know the meaning of subversive. Do you want me to get you a dictiona… Apology accepted. But only because you’re as stupid as a wet plank. You can’t be serious. No, I seriously accept your apology. But only because you’re… I get it, I get it. Stupid as a wet plank. You don’t have to be that condescending. Especially when you’re so wrong. I am not being condescending. And I’m being especially considerate because YOU are wrong here. I’m not wrong, you’re wrong. No, you’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. So you REALLY don’t think that’s subversive? No. How many times do I have to tell you that? I’m sorry, this whole conversation is making my head spin. I’m so confused. Yes. That’s how you usually operate. Dazed and confused. Okay. Okay. Bye. ...

The UN recently declared that a mother’s love towards her children is directly proportional to the tastiness of the chitranna she makes. Which doesn’t say much because the quality of chitranna is measured on a binary scale- it’s either wonderful or aweful. Most people I know who hate chitranna are also the same ones who are unable to appreciate the finer nuances in life. Unprofessional humans. Chitranna happens to be one of the go to breakfasts of Indian mothers because of its ease in making, simplicity of ingredients and it being a great way to get rid of last nights’ leftover rice- your share of rice- which you didn’t eat because you had gobi fried rice at the corner shop 12 minutes before dinner time although our mother warned you not to. This type of chitranna is a punishment of sorts- bland, colourless, and even the bloody kadle beeja tastes bitter. Then there’s the chitranna your mother makes for special occasions, especially when you have guests over. The one with cashews ...

It would be foolish to discredit the power of an idea (or ideas) that is vehemently acknowledged and ingrained in the minds of a collective group. Bloodied pages of history have shown us time and again, the incredible power that ideas wield. Ideas themselves are powerless. They are objective, unbiased and detached of all moral and ideological inclination. Only when the idea is acted upon, do we get the kind of explosive reaction that is capable of disrupting the very foundation upon which a civilized society rests. Only when an idea is passionately cradled, nurtured and moulded under the thin veil of biased false intellectualism does it transform itself into a weapon, whose prowess is directed by the strong allegiance of a dedicated group of followers. It is however, hard to get a group of people to pledge their allegiance to an idea. Ideas are invisible. Hard to see, hard to feel and hard to acknowledge. Only when you give the idea a tangible face to be acknowledged wi...

All he wanted was for her to spend some time with him An hour or half or quarter or two  She always made excuses, “Sorry, I’m busy!” “Not today, darling! No time for you!” He pursued her, nevertheless Unabashedly Shamelessly Expectantly For he knew, That time didn’t exist Before the Big Bang

I was at my desk trying very hard to not pass out from the sweltering Bangalore summer heat when trouble came knocking at my door. She was wearing a wide brimmed hat and a pair of big sunglasses, which obscured her face just as much as the long, black woollen poncho obscured her figure. Just looking at her made me sweat a little more. "I need you to find a man." she said in a thick, raspy voice. She was no stranger to whiskey and cigarettes. "The marriage bureau is in the next road, lady" I said, knowing very well what she meant. But it's not every day that a poor, private dick gets to chat up a pretty lass. I wanted to make this last as long as possible. "Please mister, this is no time for jokes." she said, nervousness slipping past her sandpapery voice. Maybe it was the way she said it, but I immediately cut the crap and up straight. "Does this man have a name?" She fished out a glossy eight by ten from her purse and slid it acro...