The end; and a new beginning

          Before I chew your mind: This blog post is in response to my friend Harish’s vlog. He had done a “user request vlog” once, and I had suggested a topic- ‘How did you start doing something’(links at the end). I also promised him that I’d write a blog post on that subject if he ever did that video. He did make that video (he makes some pretty cool game play videos as well, worth checking it out if you are a gamer), and that’s why you find yourself reading this right now.

            I think I had an idea of what I would write about when I gave him the topic. However, for the love of God (or Batman) I can’t seem to remember what that was. I’m making it up with this one, hope it’s ok bro :)

FADE IN:

Superimpose “THE END” on black background

FADE OUT TO BLACK:

<insert new title>

          This is where I (along with a bunch of other confused mortal souls my age) have reached. A point where one movie seems to end and another begins- a double feature if you may.

With no bathroom break.

This is when most people have an incessant urge to pee, but they can’t go out because the doors are sealed, and there is no coming back once you go out. Or so they make you believe. Whatever the reason, you sit through, with the final title card telling you that cigarettes and alcohol are injurious to health. And before you know it, the show has begun.

          “Hey macha! What do you wanna do next?”

          Some people at least have a vague answer to this question. A one line summary of how they picture their future -

          “Job”

          “Higher studies”

“Job for a couple of years, higher studies, better job”

“Marriage, and then do, teen chote chote bachhe” (BTW, this came from a guy)

And me?

          I just look at the other person and blink until he walks away awkwardly. I am still as unsure as I was back in high school. Or PU. Or the first time I flunked an exam. Fuck, I was way sure about what I wanted to do back when I was five! (ok, I stole this from facebook)

Other than that nagging voice at the back of my head that keeps reminding me how fucked I am if I don’t find a “regular job” (I already have a job, or four. None of them hold the “regular” tag ), everything else looks pretty neat. Except my handwriting. That’s hideous. That’s REALLY hideous.

I don’t get it how one is expected to find a stable job once he/she is done with (conventional) education. If you’re born and brought up in an over protecting, under exposed, environment that is almost exclusively available in India, then you probably have no idea how fucked up the world is. I don’t know either, but I know that it’s pretty screwed up.

And then you turn 21- 22. This is where everything changes. Suddenly you are expected to miraculously “know” what you want to do for the rest of your life. Bitch please! I don’t even know what I did in college for four years.

“Pick this! It’ll give you a great future..”

Are you sure this is I want to do this for the next 40 – 45 years?

“Who doesn’t? Fat salary, reputed company, cute colleagues…”

(rose thogoLi..

 beDa…

 paravagilla thogoLi…

 please beDa…)

Will I be happy doing this for eight hours every day? For the rest of my “productive” life?

“You’re missing the point my boy… Happiness is a completely different animal. You have to seek it out. Some people find happiness in simple things like a small drink after a day’s job, in making love to his new wife, in the innocence of his child. Like I said, simple things in life. Anyway, you’re too young to be thinking about those things just yet…”

You just missed the fucking point! Dick head.

A lot of people associate their ideal jobs with huge bank balance, retirement at 40, work hard today for a better tomorrow, you know the type. Hell, you could be one of those types for all you know!

Me?

I just wanna do something I wouldn’t hate or regret. Something I wouldn’t mind doing if that was the last thing I ever did. How many of you wouldn’t mind dying on the job? not a lot of hands in the air eh?

I know a lot of people who hate doing what they do. There may be a shit load of reasons as to why they ever resort to doing it in the first place, but that doesn’t justify why they are into things they hate (read engineering). They have no passion towards engineering or science and technology. A lot of them are from my class. Topper included.

I could probably count up to eight people (that I know of) who are into engineering because they’re interested in it. They’re also in to it for the money (hey, we can’t all be saints right), but they also have a natural interest towards innovation and engineering. The rest? They would’ve been just as happy rearing pigs if it provided the same job security as engineering.

Do whatever the fuck that makes you happy

You can’t really adopt this “motto” when you’re middle aged, chained by the corporate world, with a family to provide for. Except, that is probably when you want to do it.

I don’t think I ever worked really hard to get marks. If  someone ever plots a graph of my grades since school, you’ll find that it goes all over the place. I’ve been part of the crème de la crème (aka topper-ish) and I’ve been labeled a profound idiot. Multiple times. Never really gave much thought to it, unless my mom started singing about how I’m throwing away my brilliance. I’d sulk, and then get back to my ground state I a couple of days. Never really thought high about education. I studied things I found interesting- ever since I started thinking for myself. Never regretted bad grades. Never gave a fuck about it. End of story.