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Men can cook: Majjige (buttermilk)

I wonder why it's called butter milk. It's made from yogurt, and the butter's been removed. Why don't we just call it low fat, no butter yogurt? Another one of life's great mysteries. Anyway, by the end of this post you must have the theoretical know hows of how to make a decent to half decent, scratch that, you will know how to make the best fucking majjige you have ever tasted. It will be so good, you will want to live on a majjige diet for the rest of your life. Why do you think i'm so lean , and sexy.

                       This is me, minus the pretty face, abs, and I usually have my pants on at all times.

This is a really simple recipe.  You don't have to turn on the stove at least, there by cutting down the risk of accidentally burning the house down to zero. Unless you really do want to burn the hose down and are using this as an excuse. Which is cool by me. Just don't blame me. There are two ways to make buttermilk. Well, one way actually, the other one is a cheat. Here are both ways-

The actual method- 

You know how they say there can't be smoke without fire? Well they're wrong, you can have smoke without fire. But that is a science lesson, another time maybe. What you can't have is buttermilk without curd, unless it is store bought. So, grab some curd. Curd comes in all textures, thickness and taste. The best kind to use here would be thick curd that's gone slightly sour. By slightly sour I mean curd that's not sweet, we are trying to make majjige, not payasa. You can get some really good curd form your local  dairy farmer, or the curd mafia, but they'll come after you if you fall back on payments. Trust me, this stuff you're about to cook is real addictive, so approach them at your own discretion. And don't look at them in the eye.

 Once you have the curd, pour it in a fairly large container, preferably one with a small neck, and churn it using a buttermilk churner thingie. You might have a buttermilk churner attachment in your blender, ask the customer support of your blender manufacturer for more on that. Or just ask your mom, she'll know. Churn the curd, or pay your neighbor kid to do it, which ever works best for you. Extract the butter and eat it/ store it in the fridge. Better yet, pay your neighbor's kid in butter.


                     This is a butter milk churner thingie. Yes, that is the scientific term for it.

Cheat-

If you don't have curds at hand get some from the store. Any consumer curd should do. Once you've bought it, shake the packet of curds vigorously. You are only trying to incorporate the curd inside the pack. to this curd you will be adding water. Lots of it. Ideally, the curd to water ratio us be 1:5 to 1:8, those are the best proportions. Once you have this, now you mix it well.

This is the good part-

Now add to your buttermilk(ish) liquid the following ingredients(all measurements for 500 ml butter milk)-

1) Ginger garlic paste. This has to be home made. If you don't have any, add chopped up/ grated  ginger and garlic. Add very little of it.  I would suggest two cloves of garlic and a 1cm x 1cm x 1cm size garlic (DO NOT measure using scale)

2) Green chilies- About two to three medium sized ones should do, depending on how hot they are (DO NOT taste them) split them in he middle and add them. you will have to remove them later.

3) Salt to taste. Half a tea spoon should do.

4) Cumin (Jeera) powder- This is my secret ingredient. fry the cumin seeds a little, until they let out the flavour, and grind them using pastle and mortor. add about half as much as the salt.

Now you mix this well and let it sit for about 20 minutes. Remove the chillies 20 minutes later. Prepare to get hooked.

OPTIONAL-  add chopped corriander leaves and curry leaves.

Enjoy.

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