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10 guys women want you to be: Response to "10 Reasons to say No to a guy":

I found this on my FB feed. I thought it was a bunch of bull, so I asked the moderator if he would publish my views on the subject. He asked me to post it as a comment and assured me that the author would surely respond. I had too much on my mind to leave a lousy comment, hence this high drama.

The disclaimer claims not to generalize or demean the traits mentioned, but it goes on to do exactly that. I don't find this article offensive, no I don't get butt hurt over goof ups on the the internet. But I do find the article to be stupid and annoying. According to the author, the only kind of guys women ARE supposed to date are the fat, unkempt, shy, butt kissers.

NOTE: I am using the same classifications used in the said article, but will be writing my own views. So if the titles seem a little "off", that's not me.

1. The epic "ultra cool" dude:

Now, because this was written by a girl, I sense strong passive aggressive lesbian vibes here. There's nothing wrong with a guy doing any of that. Nothing's wrong with a man who grooms himself, so what if he makes an effort to look better than you? Jealous much? Women, you love your actors with waxed chest, tight black shirts, gelled hair, subtly red lips (ok, that's gay) so why not your man? Afraid a less insecure woman will take him away from you?

  Women Sane people prefer to hang out with people who make an effort to look presentable. Looks matter the most. You could be the most charming guy with great skills, but the first thing she will notice is how you look. Are you visually presentable? Go ahead, indulge in making yourself look good. Just don't be a dick about it. And this goes to the women as well.

2. The "know it all" dude:

Highly overt traces of feminist outlook here. According to this women are not supposed to go out with men who are good at trivia.

Fuck that shit. Women love men who can hold a good conversation. And how do you do that? By knowing a good deal of random information. Even remotely good looking girls are bombarded with a good bunch of  "hi", "how are you"s on a daily basis. How do you stand out from the rest? Be interesting. You can't be interesting without knowing shit.

A penchant for retaining a lot of info subtly suggests that you are capable of picking up hints and paying attention to little details. You know, her birthday, the color of her nail polish when you first met, her dog's birthday. Women WANT you to know shit like that! Plus her dog's birthday is a nice excuse to get lucky, if you catch my vibe ;) Again, just don't be a dick about it.

3. The "critic master" dude:

This is the butt kissing part I was talking about. She needs validation? She'll get it from her friends, and those poor friend zoned suckers. If you want a girl to "like you" like you, you have to give her your honest opinion. Telling her that she's always right and putting her on a pedestal is the best way to get yourself a one way ticket into friend-zone. Let me put it this way- women like men with a spine and a couple of balls. Someone who can hold his opinions and stick with it. So the next time she asks you if she's looking fat, tell her she is. But only if she really is. Just don't be a dick about it either.

4. The "Rockstar dude": (That's one word babe)

The stereotype level in this category is too damn high. I've been in two bands so far and I haven't done drugs. Art is not a synonym for hallucinations. She writes about weed and talks of hallucinations, noob -_-

You know how they say drummers can't get girlfriends? Do you know why drummers find it hard to get girlfriends? Think about guitarists. Look at their fingers. Think about pianists. Look at their fingers. Think about wind artists. Look at their fingers. You see where i'm getting at? Sure you do.

Being able to play an instrument, any instrument, is a characteristic most women find appealing. Trust me, I own a guitar. Besides, being a rockstar doesn't always mean you have to be in a rock band. Rockstar is a way of life, where one lives life on his own terms, not giving unnecessary fucks. Once again, spine and balls required.

5. The "star of the party" dude:

You can only pull off a brooding, anti-social look if you are me. A "star of the party", as she calls it, is one who socializes with people in a party, or wherever. Interacting with a lot of people is good. It mean you have a lot of friends. The best way to let her know that you are an important person among your friends is if people come up to you and talk to you. Knowing a lot of people (by people I mean lady people here) can also be used to your advantage- make her jealous, and thank me for the amazing time (by time I mean sexy time) later.

6. "I am the best" dude:

Ok, this I agree with. Anyone who shows narcissistic personalities is to be avoided by both guys and girls. They're just dicks. Don't be THAT guy. Never tell a girl about yourself, nothing that concerns her at least. And never ever tell her about your failures/ emotional problems at the initial stages at least. Women just don't care.

7. The extremely "fit and conscious" dude:

When you get naked in front of her (in case it progresses this far) you want her to "want" you, not fall on the floor laughing. I don't mean pump iron till you look like Arnie's distant cousin. Put in enough work till you have a toned body. Anything to keep you from looking like a blob of formless meat. Just don't obsess over it, and do not idolize anyone. They're almost always a byproduct of steroids mate. Even Arnie.

8. The "nerd" dude:

I got a friend who works in Infy. He says all the hot chicks hang out with the nerds. Point made. Of course ulterior motives are involved, but still... Point is, combine all the other qualities mentioned here, with the nerd quality- you just became a stud, stud.

9. The "tech master" dude:

This is what she says- "Sane thing to do with them is to, take down their number, save it on your phone as tech-weirdo and only remember when you need help or vice versa". This is the ulterior motive  I was talking about in the last point. Back in the day, when internet and computers were unheard of, men around the house were adept at handywork- plumbing, machines, wood works, metal crafting and more. You know how people say "My grand dad built this house all by himself" (well at least I can say that), that's because people back then actually knew the know hows to do those things. I bet you can't do any of that. Electronic contraptions is the new handywork. Take time to learn about them. One should know how everything their is to know about the devices they own at least.

10. The "Old is gold" dude:

Surprisingly, this isn't about a guy who is into MILFs. The right title would've been, 'The "pervert old man" dude'. Do not date a chick who is too young or too old. I have a buffer limit of 3 years, on both sides, i.e. if the woman is 3 years  younger/ older to me, I automatically friendzone her. You don't have to go to those crazy lengths, just be sensible with your choices. Remember,a s time passes, both of you will get older, and if the age difference is too much, one of you will still be "approachable" material. I sound selfish, yes. But this is poetic selfish, so it's ok.

(Now I will proceed to make fun of what she wrote, because it's fucking hilarious. Yes I am mean. Now Fuck off. )

Ok, no girl who is right in her mind would date a guy 40 years her senior. I mean that is a ridiculous over estimation. It's not even funny, it's plain stupid to say that! Unless the guy is filthy rich with a heart condition, in which cast the woman in question is a gold digger. Is't that degrading womankind? Pick a side woman! " I know how stupid same age guys can be but the “rich”, “old” lonely man you met at the pub is no way a safe bet. I have gallons of reasons behind these and most of them, if revealed can almost get me killed. (Girls, you know right?) ". I would be really surprised if this girl has/ ever had a boyfriend.

And then there's this- "But, beware, if an elderly man makes a pass at you, say NO at least 10 times.". I'm taking a wild guess here, I am pretty sure I am older than you are, so here goes-
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?
Wanna go out?

I asked you out eleven times. Now you have to go out with me. I'll show you how I hook up my guitar directly to my iPod. Or maybe we can skip all that and you can admire my ripped body (and the six pack abs). I'll let you touch. Wanna go out?

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