Skip to main content

This post is about finding you true calling, but is not about finding your true calling

Most people find their calling only after they've done settling down in life with a well paying job, hot wife who can make a mean sandwich (or make dinner without burning it. Yes, sexist joke. Now laugh.), and a classy sedan- fully paid for.

"I don't know man, I just don't seem to be satisfied in life. There's something missing" He says to his mistress- man, sipping earl grey at an expensive indie coffee shop.

Men suddenly see their true calling in life when this archimedian  moment of epiphany hits them in the face. Except they do't want to to run around town stark naked. Maybe they do, I don't know. Their true calling can range from following their childhood dreams of playing that guitar for a living- the one they gave up after three months of classes and took up in the first place to impress that cute girl sitting in the third bench in ninth grade, to taking up painting for the first time. If said men are over thirty, they might opt to tread on the spiritual path, but lets not talk about them, because I don't want to die before I am 30.

I, however, did a Benjamin Button and took to my "true calling" before the job, the wife, fully paid for sedan and a job from the wife *wink* *wink* *ahem* *ahem* *cough* *cough* *blush* *blush*.

That was like the fifth, maybe fourth best drunken decision I ever made. Because now, my mom no longer compares me to all those girls I went to school with, who went on to do their masters/ find jobs in countries I am too afraid to visit because of scary Hollywood movies (also because I will miss my mom's biriyani). I can tell people I don't hate Mondays (I thought it was a job thing, it really isn't). Also the good people aren't too keen on shaving off beards, which is a plus (no shave November going on for five months, baby, yeah!)


Fin.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Peter Principle and the (Middle) Managerial Trap

If you are in any managerial position (thanks to promotions) and this is the first time you’re hearing of the Peter Principle, then you are already a lost cause.  Close this tab and go back to scrolling Instagram reels. Bye-bye. According to Wikipedia (remember that old relic, before ChatGPT became the de facto encyclopedia? Remember encyclopedia? Never mind). According to Wikipedia, the Peter Principle “observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to 'a level of respective incompetence’”, which means your promotions are based on how good you are at your current role. You continue to rise the rungs of corporate till you reach a position where you, and you will, suck at your job. At some point in your career, you will end up rotting away at a level you are least competent at; some place where you barely scrape by, unsure of where you’re faltering because the barometer for quality is hidden behind a thick veil of your own incompetence. Hence, the burnout.  And the desperate ...

Clubhouse. CoWin. China.

If you feel an odd sense of deja vu while reading this piece, then you've spent too much time switching between Facebook and Clubhouse. Unless you've been living underground or in a home with ACT broadband, you know what Clubhouse is - it is where many people can have their Mann ki Baat at once. And Facebook has turned into a platform to critique, analyse and make fun of discussions that happen on Clubouse. Congrats Clubhouse, you just replaced the Indian Government, at least as far as Facebook discourses go. Clubhouse is more or less an impulsive, live podcast session - an open space where everyone is made to feel like Joe Rogan. But no one talks about DMT or shaved gorillas or MMA or shaved gorillas doing MMA while on DMT. But it always does sound like everyone is on something stronger than the devil's lettuce. Maybe you need that to hear your own thoughts over the din of uncomprehensive ramblings and mouth-breathing noises. Speaking of noises, Saudi Arabia restricted the...

The Shadow of a Dead Hound

I was at my desk trying very hard to not pass out from the sweltering Bangalore summer heat when trouble came knocking at my door. She was wearing a wide brimmed hat and a pair of big sunglasses, which obscured her face just as much as the long, black woollen poncho obscured her figure. Just looking at her made me sweat a little more. "I need you to find a man." she said in a thick, raspy voice. She was no stranger to whiskey and cigarettes. "The marriage bureau is in the next road, lady" I said, knowing very well what she meant. But it's not every day that a poor, private dick gets to chat up a pretty lass. I wanted to make this last as long as possible. "Please mister, this is no time for jokes." she said, nervousness slipping past her sandpapery voice. Maybe it was the way she said it, but I immediately cut the crap and up straight. "Does this man have a name?" She fished out a glossy eight by ten from her purse and slid it acro...