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Schrödinger's Asshole

An asshole cut me off at Manyata today. That was both

a. An asshole move on his part

b. An extremely stupid move on his part

Because let's face it. It's fucking Manyata.  Where are you gonna go when you cut me off? You're gonna be right in front of me, asshole, and I'll be giving you a death stare through your mirrors. Making uncomfortable eye contact for about half a kilometer or so.

Following traffic rules is real important and everything, but this is what it got me thinking. I assumed he was an asshole as soon as he rushed his nimble Pulsar to fill the little space between my bike and the Indicab in front of me. To me, he will always be an asshole of the supreme kind, no matter what.

But what if he isn't an asshole. What if he runs an NGO for blind kids. Maybe he was just on his way to donate blood for the 100th time. I don't know. If any of those were true, then I am the bigger asshole- not only because I have never done any of those, but also for branding him an asshole.

Besides, I know how big an ass I am. I am the only person who fully knows about all the shit I have done. Like the time I threw John's tennis ball across the school compound in second standard because I thought he was an asshole.

Case point 1: Pulsar guy is (probably) less of an asshole than I am

 Au contraire, Maybe the Pulsar guy does this all the time. Cutting people off, jumping lanes, driving drunk, being a general dick to everyone all the time. Which makes him a bigger asshole than I am.

Case point 2: Pulsar guy is (probably) a bigger asshole than I am

 Now, since I have no idea which one is true, the Pulsar guy is both more of an asshole and less of an asshole than me.

But wait! There's more!

 It is never possible to determine the assholiness of a person, because-


1. We can never determine the true nature of a person, in order to measure the assholiness of said person

2. We have no official standards in place to determine how much of an asshole a person is

Point 2 is null and void because of point 1.

In order to understand how much of an asshole a person is, we should be able to determine the true nature of a person. And that is not possible. Every. By anyone.

There is not a person on this god forsaken planet who understands your actions and your intentions objectively. Not even yourself.

Especially yourself, because your judgement about you is always biased. We are all narcissistic cunts who love ourselves too much. It's not a bad thing, it's just who we are. Don't beat yourself up. A dog barks. You love yourself. Sometimes we love ourselves too much, which is why we were so outraged about the porn ban.

Since it is impossible to determine exactly how much of an asshole a person is, any person will always be both more of an asshole and less of an asshole than you at all times.

In conclusion:

"We are all Rockstars"- Channel V (way back when it didn't suck dick)

"We are all assholes"- Me
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Comments

  1. RajeshwariJune 19, 2019 at 9:41 AM

    The "assholiness" got me. Three cheers to the assholes that we all are. Whatta philosophical read that was J. Man o man u can take a leaf of a grass and write about it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. xmasSeptember 13, 2019 at 10:34 PM

    nice asshole Riding while riding

    ReplyDelete

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