Skip to main content

Men can cook

Most cookery books or cookery shows teach you how to cook exotic foods. Elaborate dishes whose names are just as exotic as the places they come from. You have these internationally acclaimed chefs with chefy sounding names like Heston or Nigella teaching you how to make stuff that they promise, will leave your guests wanting for more. Here’s the thing, most people, way over 90% of them, don’t try out any of those dishes. You know this. I know that you know this. How many times has your mother or wife threatened to murder you in your sleep when you try to change channels when they are watching their favorite cookery shows? I’ve lost count of mine. And how many times have they cooked any of those dishes? That’s right.

He: Honey, quick! Turn on the news! There’s an alien invasion!!!

She: Not now. I’m watching Nigella make chocolate stuffed chocolate balls covered in gold wrappings, served with chocolate syrup.

He: That’s just chocolate all over…

You know that stare she gives you at that moment? Like she is trying to burn you with her laser vision? And it just doesn’t make any sense. She is never going to make those chocolate stuffed chocolate balls covered in gold wrappings, served with chocolate syrup. And even if she did make them, she still never would make them. She doesn’t even eat chocolates because she doesn’t want to get fat. Which practically means you don’t get to eat chocolates (I told you not to take her to Pulp Fiction. Now die). She goes back to making puliogares and chitrannas and dosaes and chapattis.

He: Honey, why don’t you make those chocolate balls you watched on TV the other day?

She: (looks at you like she is offended, insert melodramatic music) WHY DON’T YOU EVER APPRECIATE WHAT I DO FOR YOU? I WORK SO HARD TO FEED YOU AND YOUR KIDS, CLEAN UP AFTER YOU AND ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS THOSE STUPID CHOCOLATE BALLS? WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE SUPPORTIVE?


Translation: Why don’t you get your butt off the couch and help me with the chores.


By far the most rewarding “chore” of them all (and this is coming from personal experience) is cooking. It’s not that hard either. Once you get the basics right you can go n your own quite easily. Also, women tend think men who cook are sexy (not coming from my own experience). This is why you need to learn to cook.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rock you like a hurricane- Meaning and analysis (WARNING! NSFW, NSFSP)

NOTE: I had written this about a week ago, but didn't post it because I didn't think it was something that would appeal to teh general public. I still don't think it does that but I am suffering from an acute case of  "IDontGiveAFuckitis" so here it is. I don't give a fuck what you think about this, but if you are going to run to my mom and complain about what I do online just because it doesn't go down well with you it just makes you an immature and incompetent pussy. Seriously, this is the internet, get a life. The time is 2247 as I am writing this. A little sleep deprived, and a whole lot of self hatred and shame swimming about my aurashitpiss. I have a ton of writing work that needs my immediate attention, but I chose to do this. Arrogance? Dipshitness is more like it. Moving on... So I was listening to Rock you like a hurricane by Scorpions earlier this evening, while I was doing the dishes (yeah, i'm cool that way). I mean i wasn't even
1 comment
Read more

Clubhouse. CoWin. China.

If you feel an odd sense of deja vu while reading this piece, then you've spent too much time switching between Facebook and Clubhouse. Unless you've been living underground or in a home with ACT broadband, you know what Clubhouse is - it is where many people can have their Mann ki Baat at once. And Facebook has turned into a platform to critique, analyse and make fun of discussions that happen on Clubouse. Congrats Clubhouse, you just replaced the Indian Government, at least as far as Facebook discourses go. Clubhouse is more or less an impulsive, live podcast session - an open space where everyone is made to feel like Joe Rogan. But no one talks about DMT or shaved gorillas or MMA or shaved gorillas doing MMA while on DMT. But it always does sound like everyone is on something stronger than the devil's lettuce. Maybe you need that to hear your own thoughts over the din of uncomprehensive ramblings and mouth-breathing noises. Speaking of noises, Saudi Arabia restricted the
1 comment
Read more

The end; and a new beginning

          Before I chew your mind : This blog post is in response to my friend Harish’s vlog . He had done a “user request vlog” once, and I had suggested a topic- ‘ How did you start doing something ’(links at the end). I also promised him that I’d write a blog post on that subject if he ever did that video. He did make that video (he makes some pretty cool game play videos as well, worth checking it out if you are a gamer), and that’s why you find yourself reading this right now.             I think I had an idea of what I would write about when I gave him the topic. However, for the love of God (or Batman) I can’t seem to remember what that was. I’m making it up with this one, hope it’s ok bro :) FADE IN: Superimpose “THE END” on black background FADE OUT TO BLACK: <insert new title>           This is where I (along with a bunch of other confused mortal souls my age) have reached. A point where one movie seems to end and another begins- a double featur
3 comments
Read more