Most cookery books or cookery
shows teach you how to cook exotic foods. Elaborate dishes whose names are just
as exotic as the places they come from. You have these internationally acclaimed
chefs with chefy sounding names like Heston or Nigella teaching you how to make
stuff that they promise, will leave your guests wanting for more. Here’s the
thing, most people, way over 90% of them, don’t try out any of those dishes.
You know this. I know that you know this. How many times has your mother or
wife threatened to murder you in your sleep when you try to change channels
when they are watching their favorite cookery shows? I’ve lost count of mine.
And how many times have they cooked any of those dishes? That’s right.
He: Honey, quick! Turn on the
news! There’s an alien invasion!!!
She: Not now. I’m watching
Nigella make chocolate stuffed chocolate balls covered in gold wrappings,
served with chocolate syrup.
He: That’s just chocolate all
over…
You know that stare she gives you
at that moment? Like she is trying to burn you with her laser vision? And it
just doesn’t make any sense. She is never going to make those chocolate stuffed
chocolate balls covered in gold wrappings, served with chocolate syrup. And
even if she did make them, she still never would make them. She doesn’t even
eat chocolates because she doesn’t want to get fat. Which practically means you
don’t get to eat chocolates (I told you not to take her to Pulp Fiction. Now
die). She goes back to making puliogares and chitrannas and dosaes and
chapattis.
He: Honey, why don’t you make
those chocolate balls you watched on TV the other day?
She: (looks at you like she is
offended, insert melodramatic music) WHY DON’T YOU EVER APPRECIATE WHAT I DO
FOR YOU? I WORK SO HARD TO FEED YOU AND YOUR KIDS, CLEAN UP AFTER YOU AND ALL
YOU CAN THINK OF IS THOSE STUPID CHOCOLATE BALLS? WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE
SUPPORTIVE?
Translation: Why don’t you get
your butt off the couch and help me with the chores.
By far the most rewarding “chore”
of them all (and this is coming from personal experience) is cooking. It’s not
that hard either. Once you get the basics right you can go n your own quite
easily. Also, women tend think men who cook are sexy (not coming from my own
experience). This is why you need to learn to cook.
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