Skip to main content

i am working on a love story... er.. kinda

NOTE: Wall of text. Text in realtime. I might still use this idea, so back off.

This is me thinking of a romance story-

Ok. Here goes. There's a guy. It's from the guy's perspective. Why? I don't know. Good. It's evening, sappy descriptions of how wonderful and romantic the ambience is, chicks dig that shit. It's drizzling, just to make it seem more romantic. He's left his umbrella at home and is walking in the rain. They're picturing Gerard Butler not Seth Rogen so it's aww... A litter of puppies huddled up in the rain, he builds a makeshift shelter with a piece of cardboard that's lying around. More awws. Good good. But why puppies? Why not? nothing is a metaphor here it's there just because. Ok, next. The guy is walking in the rain thinking of his girlfriend- who's left him. Why? We don't know. Probably because of something he did. Definately because he fucked up. Maybe he didn't give her enough of the D  You can't put that? Why not? Chicks love the D. Like in that best selling Twilight fan fic? That had a ton of B, S and M to go with the D. I wonder if virgin chicks would actually dig that. Anyway, focus! Focus! Ok, so he fucked up, not her fault. Maybe it's a little bit of her fault as well. Chicks need to sympathise with the dude. He's romantic, considerate and almost always does what his girl expected from him. Almost. So we don't know why she left him. Good, that's the mystery. Why did she leave such a nice man aww. They're gonna eat it all up. Then what? Ok, he goes somewhere unexpected. Like the cemetary. Ok, unexpected. But why? Make him pick up flowers at some point earlier on. At the cemetary, and he lays flowers on a grave. Her grave. His girlfriends grave! Aww she's dead! THAT'S why she left him! So sweet. Now them chicks don't have to feel bad about fantasizing with him. Eh? Gerard Butler remember? Ya, ok. No moral dilemma. That's good. Then he reveals the reason for her death. He killed her. Because he is a psychopath. And there was no evidence to convict him.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Jonny Jonny

            “Jonny! JONNY!” bellowed Jonathan Smith Sr., banging on the apartment door.             “Goddamnit Jonny, open the fucking door!” he banged on the door again, the green flakes on the faded door reverberating. “I know you’re in there.”             Jonathan heard his son scuffling inside, hastily making way towards the door. He could hear his son, Jonathan “Jonny” Smith Jr. clumsily fiddling with the latches on the other side of the door, cursing under his breath every time he fumbled. Jonathan flung the door open, almost knocking over Jonny, and barged right in.             “What took you so long?” Jonathan said, and went straight to the only bedroom in the apartment, not waiting for an answer.          ...

10-ish reasons to love a commuter bike (or why your Pulsar is good, but my Passion is better)

Last week alone I saw two articles about the coveted Royal Enfield Bullet (for the uninitiated, it's the bike that goes dug-dug-dug-dug). So, being the nosey parker that I am, and being a proud owner of a bike in the segment myself, I searched the interwebs for a similar article about the simple commuter bike. Sadly I didn't find a single one of that sort. I never wanted to write this blogpost in the first place, but it seems like the universe has conspired to result in this. Cunning universe. So here are 10-ish reasons to love a commuter bike- 1.   They are cheap AF:  You can saddle up on a 100 cc for under 70k INR. With papers. Accessories included. Not only does it cost less, but it's really wallet friendly when it comes to maintenance as well. These bikes are manufactured with the average middle class commuter in mind. By that I mean, for the ones who have a strong mindset of "don't fix it if it's not broken". The bike will work fine even if you...

Clubhouse. CoWin. China.

If you feel an odd sense of deja vu while reading this piece, then you've spent too much time switching between Facebook and Clubhouse. Unless you've been living underground or in a home with ACT broadband, you know what Clubhouse is - it is where many people can have their Mann ki Baat at once. And Facebook has turned into a platform to critique, analyse and make fun of discussions that happen on Clubouse. Congrats Clubhouse, you just replaced the Indian Government, at least as far as Facebook discourses go. Clubhouse is more or less an impulsive, live podcast session - an open space where everyone is made to feel like Joe Rogan. But no one talks about DMT or shaved gorillas or MMA or shaved gorillas doing MMA while on DMT. But it always does sound like everyone is on something stronger than the devil's lettuce. Maybe you need that to hear your own thoughts over the din of uncomprehensive ramblings and mouth-breathing noises. Speaking of noises, Saudi Arabia restricted the...