Ramblings of a delusional dumbass

All he wanted was for her to spend some time with him An hour or half or quarter or two  She always made excuses, “Sorry, I’m busy!” “Not today, darling! No time for you!” He pursued her, nevertheless Unabashedly Shamelessly Expectantly For he knew, That time didn’t exist Before the Big Bang

 “Yeah, and he loves midget porn” “I absolutely do not!” “Dude, shut up. Your favourite pornstar is a midget” “She’s not a midget, fool” “Wait, how do you know who his favourite pornstar is?” “Nigga she’s over 5 feet tall, at least” “So, she’s a tall midget. But she’s still a midget” “Shut up dude. There’s no such thing as a tall midget” “Yeah there is. You know Mountain guy from Game of Thrones?”  “He’s a midget?” “No dumbass, he’s a fucking HUGE normal person. So, it’s only possible that there are 5 feet tall midgets, equivalent to him in midget world.” “But isn’t he like Icelandic or something? And everyone there is like 7 feet tall, man.” “I wonder if the pipes match the building” “What?”  “It’s like if the carpets match the drapes. Except with size” “Dude that’s gross” “I knew you were a faggot.” “I’m not, you morons. It was an honest curiosity…” “Yeah, curiosity to suck a dick” “Fuck you!”...

"I promise I won't try to stab you again" Well, that's reassuring. Bitch. She tried reaching her hand out to feel my abdomen where she had plunged a good part of the six inch kitchen knife just weeks ago. I instinctively slapped her hand away. "Hey!" She looked hurt. She wasn't, although I hoped she was. "Look, just get away from me. I want nothing to do with you" "But I do" She inched closer. Damn her pretty blue eyes. They were actually a dark shade of brown, but she always made me call them blue. "Look, if this is about the cheating, I just want you to know that you are better in bed and I was thinking of you the whole time" "What the fuck does that even mean?" "He was so small, I could hardly feel him inside me" "Great" There was no point talking to her. I was trying to be the bigger guy and let this die out on its own. Silence. And I knew that the shit show would begin ...

"Love is a strong term, and in this case, nearly mythical. You see, the reason our parents expect us to get married is because we have a similar soci-economic background. Which, according to their twisted logic, has resulted in similar upbringing and life experiences. Which is surprising, considering their age and everything they have been through." "So you don't believe in love?" "I do. I am just no too hopeful that love will blossom in our case." "But that is what our parents expect from our relationship. Isn't it?" "I am pretty sure that is not what they want. I guess they want a baby or something." "So... what do you expect from our relationship? In the long term." "Just that we will tolerate each other without wanting to gouge out each other's eyes at the end of the day, everyday. Ten years from now, of course" "Well, that's optimistic" "It's realistic, actuall...

NOTE: Wall of text. Text in realtime. I might still use this idea, so back off. This is me thinking of a romance story- Ok. Here goes. There's a guy. It's from the guy's perspective. Why? I don't know. Good. It's evening, sappy descriptions of how wonderful and romantic the ambience is, chicks dig that shit. It's drizzling, just to make it seem more romantic. He's left his umbrella at home and i s walking in the rain. They're picturing Gerard Butler not Seth Rogen so it's aww... A litter of puppies huddled up in the rain, he builds a makeshift shelter with a piece of cardboard that's lying around. More awws. Good good. But why puppies? Why not? nothing is a metaphor here it's there just because. Ok, next. The guy is walking in the rain thinking of his girlfriend- who's left him. Why? We don't know. Probably because of something he did. Definately because he fucked up. Maybe he didn't give her enough of the D   You can't p...

NOTE: I had written this about a week ago, but didn't post it because I didn't think it was something that would appeal to teh general public. I still don't think it does that but I am suffering from an acute case of  "IDontGiveAFuckitis" so here it is. I don't give a fuck what you think about this, but if you are going to run to my mom and complain about what I do online just because it doesn't go down well with you it just makes you an immature and incompetent pussy. Seriously, this is the internet, get a life. The time is 2247 as I am writing this. A little sleep deprived, and a whole lot of self hatred and shame swimming about my aurashitpiss. I have a ton of writing work that needs my immediate attention, but I chose to do this. Arrogance? Dipshitness is more like it. Moving on... So I was listening to Rock you like a hurricane by Scorpions earlier this evening, while I was doing the dishes (yeah, i'm cool that way). I mean i wasn't even...

They cry, they shout they squeal, and they yell those empty threats, and cocky retorts makes you wonder if they ever evolved offended by things that is beyond their comprehension they don't get it they don't even try but they complain, oh how they complain! makes you wonder why they aren't locked up in cages internet trolls they're unwanted, undesired but they come in uninvited polluting healthy discussions with hatred and stupidity ruining it for everyone involved why don't they go away? why don't they mind their own business? more importantly, why do they multiply?

I

     He lay in his bed. Breathing. Every now and then a faint smell of sweat would linger under his nostrils, and then flee, just before his mind could trace its origin. Was it from his shirt? Was it from his blankets? Was it from himself? He  couldn't  remember the last time he took a bath, or  he last time he washed the sheets or the last time he did the laundry. No, wait. He took a bath every day. At 12:30 pm, everyday like clockwork, he would go into his bathroom and take a shower for exactly twelve and a half minutes. He knew this, he was so bloody damn sure of it, because this was the only consistent thing in his life. He had been doing it for so long, and he had been doing it the same exact way, every single time, that it had become second nature to him. His mind didn’t have to make a single conscious decision when he got into the shower. He automatically phased out for those twelve and a half minutes- from the time he turned on the hot wa...

NOTE: This isn't directed towards You. But if the shoe fits... 1. Hmmmmmm............ 2. ok ok/ k/ okei 3. ya.......... 4. :) :):) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) 5. :D :D :D :D 6. LOL! (doesn't matter if conversation isn't intended to be funny) 7. OMG! :0 8. "Typing" "Typing" "Logged off" 9. Luv u dahlin :* (as said to other girls) 10. But I didn't think of you that way (as said to guys) P.S: You = any girl who's reading this. YOu wouldn't be reading this if you were THAT dumb. Peace \/..

So, i'm at Gopalan Cinemas. I don't usually go to the movies, let alone by myself. But here I am, almost an hour early. It was an hour early half an hour ago anyway. Frankly, i'm bored. It took me about two minutes to buy my tickets and I was bored by the fifth. Figured i'd use this spare time to write my blog. Like everything else here, this will also make no sense (btw that's my signature style), and this is just random shit I see around as I wait for my show to begin. It's pretty good this multiplex thingie. AC, clean floors, nobody giving a fuck about the lonely guy sitting in the corner... I'M BORED! Enter entertainment. Have you seen grown women trying hard not to act their age? And when I say grown women I don't mean twenty or thirty somethings. I mean the ones who've been around for half a century or more. I did. They made a fuss about not wanting to pay a hundred and fifty bucks for their tickets. Oggling at Hugh Jackman's post...

This one is for those ten fuckers who made the last four years liveable. They know why it's 28... 1. Smart girls think i'm too dumb 2. Dumb girls think i'm too much of a smartass 3. The one's in between aren't really stupid enough to go out with me 4. Pretty girls think i'm too ugly 5. Ugly girls think i'm too ugly 6. The one's in between don't exist- my classification of a woman's physical appearance is in the binary system 7. Every second word that comes out of my mouth is 'unparlimentary' 8. The third word is usually a derivative of the second word 9. I think snakes are cool and hope of adopting one. Most girls can't stand the sight of a snake. 10. Girls tend to have pretty much the same kind of feelings towards RGV 11. I have 'questionable' online activity 12. My offline activities aren't so different either 13. My mood swings beat a woman's mood swings by a mile 14. I intend to make her...