Clubhouse. CoWin. China.

If you feel an odd sense of deja vu while reading this piece, then you've spent too much time switching between Facebook and Clubhouse. Unless you've been living underground or in a home with ACT broadband, you know what Clubhouse is - it is where many people can have their Mann ki Baat at once. And Facebook has turned into a platform to critique, analyse and make fun of discussions that happen on Clubouse. Congrats Clubhouse, you just replaced the Indian Government, at least as far as Facebook discourses go.

Clubhouse is more or less an impulsive, live podcast session - an open space where everyone is made to feel like Joe Rogan. But no one talks about DMT or shaved gorillas or MMA or shaved gorillas doing MMA while on DMT. But it always does sound like everyone is on something stronger than the devil's lettuce. Maybe you need that to hear your own thoughts over the din of uncomprehensive ramblings and mouth-breathing noises.

Speaking of noises, Saudi Arabia restricted the use of loudspeakers in mosques. Why Indians were rejoicing over an internal matter of the Saudis is beyond me. Are the non-conformist Saudis funded by Hindu nationalist groups? Do they also question the Gandhis, discredit The Gandhi, blame it on Nehru, and promote Pakistan tourism? I don't know. 

Change is not inherently bad. Change is the status quo. An inevitable but necessary inconvenience. But some can seem unnecessary. Like attaching the moniker "Tech Halli" to Bengaluru. 

Why Anand Mahindra, why?

Nothing against hallis, but the only way he could have come up with something as ridiculous as Tech Halli is if he went from Kammana-Halli to Ramamurthy-Nagara (3km only), and marvelled at the wide roads and beautiful avenues of Kammanahalli, compared it to the cramped, narrow, pothole-ridden roads of Ramamurthy Nagara and thought, "The future of India lies in its hallis." Maybe he had a chuckle about how it sounds almost exactly like what Gandhiji said about villages and the future of India. 

But why call it Tech Halli? 

Because TechVillage is taken by Embassy REIT. Psych.

A halli represents serenity, quiet and peace. Like Bangalore. 

Bengaluru, on the other hand, is a polluted traffic purgatory where people spend most of their time waiting. 

Waiting for the traffic to clear.

Waiting for the Swiggy delivery.

Waiting for their code to compile.

Waiting for the client to revert. 

Waiting for the slot to open up on CoWin.

That last one doesn't apply to you if you're a brahmin from Malleshwaram who bypassed CoWin bookings and got jabbed. People are fuming over this decision taken by a senior BJP leader. But hey, maybe he just wanted these folks to experience what reservation feels like. 2020-21 has been weird as fuck, and it shouldn't surprise anyone if this is the legitimate reason why this debacle happened. 

Another debacle that came to light this past week - Trump *maybe* right about where the coronavirus originated from. Theories floating around the interwebs and intellectual circles speculate that the virus was leaked from the Wuhan Institute of Virology. You might think China is just smart enough to be able to pull this one off... until you hear about how they are combating the dip in population growth.

China has graciously abolished the draconian one-child policy and has replaced it with a three-child policy. 

That's like poking holes in a condom because you want to have kids. 

That's like peeling an orange and putting it in a lunch box to save for later. 

That's like watching a silent film on mute.

That's like pressing Ctrl+s 25 times to save a file.

There's no reason it shouldn't exist. But there's no reason why it should either.