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Men can cook: Egg Burji or whatever floats your boat

You don't cook the egg burji. The egg burji cooks itself.
- Someone who's not me

Egg burji is what you get when you try to make an omlet, but you lack the dexterity to flip semi cooked eggs, and break it. Ok, that joke is done to death, buried, resurrected and buried again. That's only because it's true. So, it's best to skip the being careful part and jump right into the sloppy, careless fuckery that results in a glorious mouth orgasm. An egggasm.

Egg burjji is essentially desi scrambled egg. Like all other egg recipes, there are a million ways you can cook the burji. The egg is the only main ingredient. The rest are just filler stuff. So,

Eliminate.

Experiment.

Enjoy.  

Gordon Ramsy has an interesting way to make good scrambled eggs. (link here) Watch that. Now, we'll do the exact opposite of  what the Michelin star chef made, in order to make the perfect sides for beer/ rice- sambhar/ chappati/ egg sandwich etc.

Viva la eggalusion!

Chop a medium sized onion. Small cubes/ large cubes, whatever floats your boat.
Chop up a medium sized tomato. Small cubes/ large cubes, whatever floats your boat.
Get some pepper powder/ chilly powder (or both), a pinch of salt, some tumeric powder.
2-3 eggs are recommended.

I would also recommend finely chopping green chillies, but you might just cut your finger and cry like a bitch. Then you'd associate egg burji with pain and crying, and begin to resent it. Or you might crave egg burji every time you cry, I guess. I am not sure how Pavalov's classical conditioning works. (N.B- That "bitch" earlier in the paragraph was not a set up for the Pavalov's conditioning here. It was accidental)

Place wok on medium to high flame. Add a table spoon of oil. Bring to heat. If the wok begins to smoke, get it off the flame, away from your face, and give it a firm talking about the ill effects of smoking. Once you are done, place it back on the flame.

Add the onions and fry until golden brown. Or until it does not burn. Add tomatoes. Fry it a bit. If you have chopped chillies this would be a good time to put them in. A couple of minutes later, add a pinch of tumeric, half a tea spoon of pepper powder, half a tea spoon of chilli powder (or more if you like your egg burji like I like my porno) and a tea spoon of salt. Mix well, let it cook for a few seconds.

Crack the eggs and add them in. Throw away the egg shells. Take a fork and beat the eggs until it froths a bit. Mix the egg and the masala mixture well. By now the mixture should have started to cook. Reduce the flame, and cover the wok with a plate.

Wait a couple of minutes.

Open the plate. The egg should have risen. It might look like a cake. Take the afore mentioned fork, and scramble the fluffy egg. Turn off heat and continue to scramble till it breaks apart like like logic in Rohit Shetty's movies. Or not so much. Whatever floats your boat.

You can eat it as it is, like a cave man. Or you can be more civilized and garnish it with some chopped coriander leaves before consumption. What ever... yeah, that's not working anymore. 

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