Skip to main content

Men can cook

Most cookery books or cookery shows teach you how to cook exotic foods. Elaborate dishes whose names are just as exotic as the places they come from. You have these internationally acclaimed chefs with chefy sounding names like Heston or Nigella teaching you how to make stuff that they promise, will leave your guests wanting for more. Here’s the thing, most people, way over 90% of them, don’t try out any of those dishes. You know this. I know that you know this. How many times has your mother or wife threatened to murder you in your sleep when you try to change channels when they are watching their favorite cookery shows? I’ve lost count of mine. And how many times have they cooked any of those dishes? That’s right.

He: Honey, quick! Turn on the news! There’s an alien invasion!!!

She: Not now. I’m watching Nigella make chocolate stuffed chocolate balls covered in gold wrappings, served with chocolate syrup.

He: That’s just chocolate all over…

You know that stare she gives you at that moment? Like she is trying to burn you with her laser vision? And it just doesn’t make any sense. She is never going to make those chocolate stuffed chocolate balls covered in gold wrappings, served with chocolate syrup. And even if she did make them, she still never would make them. She doesn’t even eat chocolates because she doesn’t want to get fat. Which practically means you don’t get to eat chocolates (I told you not to take her to Pulp Fiction. Now die). She goes back to making puliogares and chitrannas and dosaes and chapattis.

He: Honey, why don’t you make those chocolate balls you watched on TV the other day?

She: (looks at you like she is offended, insert melodramatic music) WHY DON’T YOU EVER APPRECIATE WHAT I DO FOR YOU? I WORK SO HARD TO FEED YOU AND YOUR KIDS, CLEAN UP AFTER YOU AND ALL YOU CAN THINK OF IS THOSE STUPID CHOCOLATE BALLS? WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE SUPPORTIVE?


Translation: Why don’t you get your butt off the couch and help me with the chores.


By far the most rewarding “chore” of them all (and this is coming from personal experience) is cooking. It’s not that hard either. Once you get the basics right you can go n your own quite easily. Also, women tend think men who cook are sexy (not coming from my own experience). This is why you need to learn to cook.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Peter Principle and the (Middle) Managerial Trap

If you are in any managerial position (thanks to promotions) and this is the first time you’re hearing of the Peter Principle, then you are already a lost cause.  Close this tab and go back to scrolling Instagram reels. Bye-bye. According to Wikipedia (remember that old relic, before ChatGPT became the de facto encyclopedia? Remember encyclopedia? Never mind). According to Wikipedia, the Peter Principle “observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to 'a level of respective incompetence’”, which means your promotions are based on how good you are at your current role. You continue to rise the rungs of corporate till you reach a position where you, and you will, suck at your job. At some point in your career, you will end up rotting away at a level you are least competent at; some place where you barely scrape by, unsure of where you’re faltering because the barometer for quality is hidden behind a thick veil of your own incompetence. Hence, the burnout.  And the desperate ...
1 comment
Read more

Clubhouse. CoWin. China.

If you feel an odd sense of deja vu while reading this piece, then you've spent too much time switching between Facebook and Clubhouse. Unless you've been living underground or in a home with ACT broadband, you know what Clubhouse is - it is where many people can have their Mann ki Baat at once. And Facebook has turned into a platform to critique, analyse and make fun of discussions that happen on Clubouse. Congrats Clubhouse, you just replaced the Indian Government, at least as far as Facebook discourses go. Clubhouse is more or less an impulsive, live podcast session - an open space where everyone is made to feel like Joe Rogan. But no one talks about DMT or shaved gorillas or MMA or shaved gorillas doing MMA while on DMT. But it always does sound like everyone is on something stronger than the devil's lettuce. Maybe you need that to hear your own thoughts over the din of uncomprehensive ramblings and mouth-breathing noises. Speaking of noises, Saudi Arabia restricted the...
1 comment
Read more

The Shadow of a Dead Hound

I was at my desk trying very hard to not pass out from the sweltering Bangalore summer heat when trouble came knocking at my door. She was wearing a wide brimmed hat and a pair of big sunglasses, which obscured her face just as much as the long, black woollen poncho obscured her figure. Just looking at her made me sweat a little more. "I need you to find a man." she said in a thick, raspy voice. She was no stranger to whiskey and cigarettes. "The marriage bureau is in the next road, lady" I said, knowing very well what she meant. But it's not every day that a poor, private dick gets to chat up a pretty lass. I wanted to make this last as long as possible. "Please mister, this is no time for jokes." she said, nervousness slipping past her sandpapery voice. Maybe it was the way she said it, but I immediately cut the crap and up straight. "Does this man have a name?" She fished out a glossy eight by ten from her purse and slid it acro...
Post a Comment
Read more