Ramblings of a delusional dumbass

DISCLAIMER: This blog post does not endorse smoking and drinking alcohol, for both are injurious to health. DISCLAIMER 2: The above disclaimer was not intended to offend anyone who smokes and drinks. This is one of the few 'bad ass' moments in my life. I'm not saying what happened is, for the want of a better word, good. But you gotta admit, it was pretty bad ass and it takes some boulder size cojones to pull this crazy shit off. These are actually two isolated incidents, which for some reason have stuck in my mind with utmost clarity. Second PU. It was a Tuesday morning. It was a cold Tuesday morning. I was sitting in the fourth bench, right next to the large window not even trying to pay attention to Jayanna's math class. My ugly red jacket was keeping me quite warm, and the lecture was starting to sound a lot like my mom's lullabys. The only thing that kept me from dozing off was the cold wind that kept blowing into my ears. Now, Jayanna is a funny char...

Research shows that 97.32% of all siblings fight/ have fought/ have had thoughts of killing each other in their sleep. The remaining 2.68% are usually fictional and- or are 'ideal people', like i said, fictional. eg- Pandavas, Dasharatha's sons, Hansle and Gretle, Shivanna and Radhika (Mrs. Kumaraswami, not Pandit!) etc. Some say siblings have a love- hate relationship, my mother would disagree. My sister and I only have a hate- hate- gimme that, it's mine relationship. My mother used to stay awake all night keeping an eye on us. Not because she loved us so much, God no, she just wanted to make sure we don't strangle each other in our sleep. In fact my mother once tried to seperate us so that we wouldn't mortaly harm each other, and so that she could finally get some sleep. She set up an elaborate plan which involved a huge circus tent and some kickass protechnics. Alas, we all survived the big fire "accident", and our family was reunited twelve m...

Studying the CBSE syllabus has it's perks. You're already familiar with half the 1st PU portions. You can boast about having read Wordsworth and Coleridge and that guy who wrote Road Not Taken. The downside is that the results arrive about a month after the state board results. And that means getting an admission into a PU college becomes a massive pain in the ass. Each college plays by it's own rules- "sorry sir, friday was the last date to apply. you should've furnished a letter earlier, stating that you are from cbse"- and you should've told that to me when i paid you a hundred bucks for that admission form. Why, i could've just thrown my hundred bucks into the dustbin last week itself, no? "you better join 11th standard, and continue in cbse"- why, is your college too dumb for me? "sorry, there are a hundred students in a class already"- and you think one more is gonna make a difference? So at this point, i had to make...

This one is for those ten fuckers who made the last four years liveable. They know why it's 28... 1. Smart girls think i'm too dumb 2. Dumb girls think i'm too much of a smartass 3. The one's in between aren't really stupid enough to go out with me 4. Pretty girls think i'm too ugly 5. Ugly girls think i'm too ugly 6. The one's in between don't exist- my classification of a woman's physical appearance is in the binary system 7. Every second word that comes out of my mouth is 'unparlimentary' 8. The third word is usually a derivative of the second word 9. I think snakes are cool and hope of adopting one. Most girls can't stand the sight of a snake. 10. Girls tend to have pretty much the same kind of feelings towards RGV 11. I have 'questionable' online activity 12. My offline activities aren't so different either 13. My mood swings beat a woman's mood swings by a mile 14. I intend to make her...