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SJP(uke)- dos: Whiskey in a Math class! (hic)

DISCLAIMER: This blog post does not endorse smoking and drinking alcohol, for both are injurious to health.

DISCLAIMER 2: The above disclaimer was not intended to offend anyone who smokes and drinks.

This is one of the few 'bad ass' moments in my life. I'm not saying what happened is, for the want of a better word, good. But you gotta admit, it was pretty bad ass and it takes some boulder size cojones to pull this crazy shit off.

These are actually two isolated incidents, which for some reason have stuck in my mind with utmost clarity.

Second PU. It was a Tuesday morning. It was a cold Tuesday morning. I was sitting in the fourth bench, right next to the large window not even trying to pay attention to Jayanna's math class. My ugly red jacket was keeping me quite warm, and the lecture was starting to sound a lot like my mom's lullabys. The only thing that kept me from dozing off was the cold wind that kept blowing into my ears.

Now, Jayanna is a funny character. The dude is short, short tempered and hates everyone unconditionally. I'm beginning to wonder if Grumpy Cat is his pet. This guy doesn't teach math, he merely transferes the problems from Don Bosco's on to the board. If I was asked to identify Jayanna in a police line up, i'd make them turn around and make them face their backs to me. That's how familiar his back is to me.

This guy is know for his temper. Taken, he wasn't one of the most feared lecturers around (short guy who's always angry, thats Yosemite Sam bitch. The only thing he lacked was the large red mustache), but people wouldn't cross his path if they had a choice.

I had long given up on that math class. I looked out the large window, only to be greeted by a huge heap of decaying leaves, waiting to be put on fire at ten am. I hated Latha Philip for making us sit according to our role numbers. That's right. It helped prevent groupism, her words not mine.

I looked inside, and most of them looked like their brains were decaying. Except for a few guys and the ones sitting in the first bench sincerely copying down everything from the board, everyone else looked like they were gonna die of boredom. The guy in the green t shirt was writing a song. The guy sitting behind me was listening to fm, and I was pretty sure that the guys sitting in the far right, last bench were watching porn on their phone.

About twenty minutes into the class, the guy in front of me pulled out a bottle of Pepsi. Let's call this guy Einstein. Yes, Einstein pulled out a bottle of Pepsi from his bag. I assumed it was Pepsi because-

1. It was a dark liquid in a Pepsi bottle

2. I didn't know any better
(Pepsi did not fund this blog post, even after i wrote 200 emails asking them to do so. Bad Pepsi)

The bottle switched hands from Einstein to OJ, to Surya (these two were sitting next to me) and went to Harry sitting behind us. The bottle travelled right up to the last bench, and returned back with some of the Pepsi still in it.
This was crazy!
Drinking a carbonated drink in Jayanna's class was unheard of! I was still prude back then and i thought eating/ sleeping during the classes was disgusting. I've grown up since then.

If they got caught, they'd be slapped by Jayanna and taken to the VP, who would slap them again.

Ouch.

And these fuckers didn't even know how to finish a bottle of Pepsi. So I said to Surya "You fuckers don't even know how to finish a bottle of Pepsi"

This dude looked at me with a straight face and said "Bob, this is whiskey Bob" and took another sip before OJ pulled the bottle from him. And I began wondering, 'why the fuck does this guy call everyone Bob?'

Then I thought about how they would get expelled if anyone caught them drinking liquor during class.

I've seen crazier shit that involved alcohol since then, like a guy who wrote an exam while he was drunk (his argument was that if he failed it was because he was drunk, if he passed then he would've passed even when he was drunk. He passed. I didn't. I should've gone drunk that day). But this was all new to me.

Growing up in a household where they obsess about the effects of alcohol over your liver, I was completely unaware of it's effects on the brain. That incident was an eye opener.

P.S- An odd smell did tickled my nostrils, but i thought it was from the decaying leaves outside.

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