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28 reasons why I don't have a girlfriend yet

This one is for those ten fuckers who made the last four years liveable. They know why it's 28...

1. Smart girls think i'm too dumb

2. Dumb girls think i'm too much of a smartass

3. The one's in between aren't really stupid enough to go out with me

4. Pretty girls think i'm too ugly

5. Ugly girls think i'm too ugly

6. The one's in between don't exist- my classification of a woman's physical appearance is in the binary system

7. Every second word that comes out of my mouth is 'unparlimentary'

8. The third word is usually a derivative of the second word

9. I think snakes are cool and hope of adopting one. Most girls can't stand the sight of a snake.

10. Girls tend to have pretty much the same kind of feelings towards RGV

11. I have 'questionable' online activity

12. My offline activities aren't so different either

13. My mood swings beat a woman's mood swings by a mile

14. I intend to make her pay when we go out. Always

15. I ask weird questions like 'did you ever kill someone and got away with it?'

16. I wear the same shirt for a week and i'll swear that i've never worn it in a month

17. I make fun of everything. Even if her cat dies. I hate cats

18. Have you even seen my facebook updates?


19. Emma Watson doesn't believe in long distance relationships

20. I'm bad at math
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