Ramblings of a delusional dumbass

"Love is a strong term, and in this case, nearly mythical. You see, the reason our parents expect us to get married is because we have a similar soci-economic background. Which, according to their twisted logic, has resulted in similar upbringing and life experiences. Which is surprising, considering their age and everything they have been through." "So you don't believe in love?" "I do. I am just no too hopeful that love will blossom in our case." "But that is what our parents expect from our relationship. Isn't it?" "I am pretty sure that is not what they want. I guess they want a baby or something." "So... what do you expect from our relationship? In the long term." "Just that we will tolerate each other without wanting to gouge out each other's eyes at the end of the day, everyday. Ten years from now, of course" "Well, that's optimistic" "It's realistic, actuall...

Disclaimer 1: I have never cooked Biriyani. I know at least three different styles of cooking it but I have never, and hopefully never will try cooking Biriyani. i don't want to demystify this mythical wonder. This was originally written for a friend of mine, and the Biriyani apparently turned out really good. So reposting it here for the greater good. Disclaimer 2: This is not really a biriyani recipe. It is a pulao- biriyani hybrid, and is based on Ambur biriyani and the kind of biriyani my mom makes. It is easy to cook, tastes amazing (or so I presume) and that is all that matters. Ingredients- FOR MARINATION: Chicken- 1 kg- small pieces. Biriyani usually uses large pieces, but using small pieces will cut down on the cooking time and will also keep the chicken evenly cooked throughout. Yoghurt- 1.5 tbsp Turmeric Ginger garlic paste- 1 tbsp Red chilli powder- 0.5 tbsp Salt- to taste Biriyani masala- .5 tsp (optional) Mix all the above ingredients, ensuring all the...

Notting Hill is a shitty move that became really popular because the makers made a half dozen human sacrifices to the box office Gods. This is only if you take the move at face value. The characters are bland. The script is weak- it has no structure, the beats are in all the wrong places. The events are completely implausible. There is no lead up to the intense (?) romantic (?) relationship (?) between the two protagonists. Imagine a porn movie- a full porno movie not the five minute clips on Pornhub, and replace the naught bits with romance. That is what Notting Hill is. The key demographic for this movie are your average Nice GuysTM. Made in a time when most romance movies were targeted at women, this was a ballsy move on the director’s part. Very ballsy. Imagine a bunch of sad, lonely dudes filling up the movie theatre watching this movie, hoping they could someday find a woman as pretty as Julia Roberts who would accept them for who they are. It was directed by Richard Curtis. T...

You don't cook the egg burji. The egg burji cooks itself. - Someone who's not me Egg burji is what you get when you try to make an omlet, but you lack the dexterity to flip semi cooked eggs, and break it. Ok, that joke is done to death, buried, resurrected and buried again. That's only because it's true. So, it's best to skip the being careful part and jump right into the sloppy, careless fuckery that results in a glorious mouth orgasm. An egggasm. Egg burjji is essentially desi scrambled egg. Like all other egg recipes, there are a million ways you can cook the burji. The egg is the only main ingredient. The rest are just filler stuff. So, Eliminate. Experiment. Enjoy.   Gordon Ramsy has an interesting way to make good scrambled eggs. (link here) Watch that. Now, we'll do the exact opposite of  what the Michelin star chef made, in order to make the perfect sides for beer/ rice- sambhar/ chappati/ egg sandwich etc. Viva la eggalusion! Chop a m...

Hi there, new people who discovered my blog. There has been an insane spike in the views since the last month, not sure what influenced this, but thanks, I guess. Here's a quick update on the shenanigans I've been up to recently- - A secret project I'm not allowed to talk about until the official release. Sorry. - I've been writing my book. It's a trunk novel, so it might not get to see light. This is the fourth one i've started writing in the past year. I'm a lazy bastard and I hope that I don't abandon this one like it's brothers and sisters. - I have started reading, semi regularly. I am averaging at about one book every two weeks. There used to be times when I did two books every week. Fuck you internet, you sweet, distracting, time wasting machine thingie. - I have started posting on twitter. Well, I linked my facebook and twitter, so my fb posts show up on twitter. I still haven't gotten the hang of twittering yet. - I have put...

Eggs are like non-veg potatoes. Extremely versatile. There are literally hundreds of ways to cook an egg, and you can never go wrong. Unless you want a boiled egg. Fucking boiled eggs.  It took me years, literally YEARS, to learn how to make good boiled eggs. It has one ingredient. The fucking egg. Cooked in water. That is all there is to it. And I have spent hours on end trying to cook it right. Peeling the egg is a pain in the ass. Uncooked egg is a pain in the ass. Wordsworth should have written a poem on peeling badly cooked boiled eggs. The pain, the agony, the depressing frustration of having wasted a perfectly good egg.  Lets take a step back and learn what makes a good  boiled egg-  1. It should be cooked through. The egg whites have to be cooked to soft, silky consistency. The yolk can range from runny yellow liquid awesomeness to soft yellow mushy awesomeness. 2. The shell should peel right. Without the end product looking like the left...

you are both the prey and the predator the familiar and the bizarre the prisoner and the prison a soup of contradictions boiling over, fuelling the fires of lust of despair of helpless surrender you are everything, within and without you are nothing, shadowed words and thundering silence a soup of contradictions boiling over, purging thyself of apathy of envy of undue happiness ideas hopes dreams cigarettes and alcohol lost for eternity